The fundamental crazy is what makes it all possible. These felt experiences of my own motivational systems, prior to thought or theory, are limiting in the sort of way that creates possibilities. Opens up vistas of happenings (as received) and doings (as offered). But these are my limitations, too. The extraneous limitations, taken into myself like a foreign substance as a super-ego'd voice, are what hinder. The standards that are not my own messy boundaries are the ones that I cannot conceive of meeting spontaneously, and so I "tactically" scheme my way to their satisfaction.
But unfortunately, I can't really do that because if I'm motivated by the projected idea of what "they" want, I never do anything. The utter paralysis of perfectionism claws its way through my motivation and cripples the fibers of its muscle.
So, we need to listen to the crazy that tells me what I can and might like to do. and to the God who harmonizes my crazy with the totality of possibility in His world and through His strength. Work can be prayer, and prayer oughtn't be work.
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"You aren't a worrying person are you?" she asked, more seriously than expected. "No, not usually." I replied. Was I lying?
Later:
"I must sound SO lazy! I'm really not. I work very hard. I just like to shut my brain off sometimes." She said, correcting the impression. "Maybe you can show me how to do that..." I joked. Maybe.
"Does that big brain never turn off?"
"No, not really. Always running on something."
"Well, a TV will help with that."
I'm rambling from the caffeine and David Mamet wasn't as interesting tonight as previously. Will Bob ever get Teach coffee? Who knows!
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and not an ugg boot, a Northface fleece or an over-exposed ass cheek in sight. Thanks, Sartorialist.
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Got zombie problems?
Not anymore you don't!
2 comments:
this is the greatest thing ever. i want one for christmas.
You worry. Mainly about the people you love though.
also, one of my favorite Sartorialist posts in recent months.
Also, I want one.
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